Pins down, spirits up

State bowling tournament promotes inclusion

A version of this column originally appeared in the Northern Kentucky Tribune.

Kentucky has created a new category in high school bowling. On paperwork regarding my daughter’s participation, I saw it referred to as the unified division.

If you think on that a minute, the name could sound like an oxymoron. But don’t tell Highlands High School’s Parker Thomas that.

On a cold Feb. 9 morning in Lexington, Thomas advanced with partner Maddie Shelton to the bowling finals of Kentucky’s unified division. Held as part of the state high school bowling tournament, unified bowling pairs a student with intellectual disabilities and one without for training and competition.

And compete they did. But even in the midst of an intense match up with Louisville’s Southern High School, there was not much division. Thomas kept getting high fives from – and giving them right back to – a man coaching the opposition.

You read that right. The opposition. During competition. In the state finals.

The crowd that had gathered around the bowlers on lanes 19 and 20 at Collins-Eastland Bowling Center cheered on both teams as they battled back and forth. Strike after strike after spare. Pins crashing. Spirits soaring.

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Parker Thomas of Highlands High School (photo provided)

Three NKY high schools represented

Highlands, the Region 5 champ, was one of three Northern Kentucky teams to make history as competitors in the first state tournament for unified bowling. Region 5 runner-up Simon Kenton also qualified thanks to the skills of Nick Blacketer and Mitchell Kreidenweis.

From Region 6, my daughter, Anna Mimms, bowled with partner Hannah Day to represent Cooper High School. In the qualifying round, they bowled a 120 to earn a No. 3 seed, followed by Highlands at No. 7 with a 99 and Simon Kenton at No. 8 with a 97.

In all, 13 unified pairs represented ten schools and all eight bowling regions in the state. The teams bowled two-person Baker games, in which bowlers on the same team alternate frames to bowl a complete game.

I hadn’t planned on being a reporter that day. I was there to cheer on Anna, who has special needs, and Hannah in a state championship – an event I never saw coming for my daughter, sister to two big brothers, both former multi-sport high school athletes. A daughter who tried out for bowling at a different high school three years ago with little to no chance of making it. Who was cut and, even so, tried out again the next year. Who loved bowling with Special Olympics but so wanted to wear her school’s team colors, just like her brothers had.

The girl even designed her high school class ring with a bowling ball and pins on it.

Then, for unrelated reasons, came the switch to Cooper. Bowling coaches Joe Deters and Elmer Bales said yes to Anna’s being on the school’s team. And when the state presented the prospect of unified bowling, the coaches said yes again.

That is how I found myself, on that championship morning, breathing in an atmosphere of shared knowing. It is a shared knowing of hopes and dreams amid challenges and adjustments. It is watching together loved ones with special needs achieve something their families probably never saw coming either.

This bowling division had an immense sense of unity and inclusion. I felt compelled to put on my reporter’s hat.

Sport promotes growth and inclusion

Sarah Bridenbaugh is an assistant commissioner with the Kentucky High School Athletic Association. As part of her duties, she oversees bowling and is the association’s main liaison for unified sports. She was busy during the state competition gliding among the lanes, but during a break, the former high school math teacher and basketball coach talked with me.

Her enthusiasm for unified sports was apparent immediately. She commented on the great turnout and how much the teams enjoyed the tournament.

“This is an opportunity for all student athletes to represent their high school at a state championship,” Bridenbaugh said. They get to wear their school colors, do their school cheer, partner with another student and be part of a team, she added. Unified sports, she said, promotes the growth of athletes and inclusion for those with special needs.

KHSAA partners with Special Olympics of Kentucky to offer unified sports. Bowling is the second unified sport in Kentucky. Unified track and field was first offered in 2015.

Bridenbaugh said she envisions unified sports growing in Kentucky. While the state has no immediate plans, she said she hopes to have at least one sport available for unified athletes in each of the three high school sports seasons.

I could see that the competition meant a lot to her. “One kid getting that opportunity was worth all the work that we’ve done. … [It was] an emotional and spirited competition,” she said.

The unified competition was “a great way to kick off the state bowling tournament,” Bridenbaugh said. “The enthusiasm of these teams will carry over to the singles and team competitions.”

Enthusiasm electrified the crowd

Even with the tournament excitement swirling around me, I focused intently on Anna and Hannah as they bowled.

The girls had advanced to the quarter finals after the top three seeds got a bye in the first round of head-to-head competition. They were bowling against a team from Meade County High School when I heard an unfamiliar male voice cheering for Anna after she bowled.

I turned to my right to see a Meade County fan cheering on my daughter and her teammate. For the first time I noticed what appeared to be a family next to me. I got a quick reminder of what this competition was all about.

“Isn’t this great?” I said to the woman.

She agreed. She told me that she was the mother of the two Meade County boys, Parker and Brandon Whitaker. What a great opportunity for them to compete together for their high school, we agreed again. I widened my focus to include the two boys bowling against my daughter, cheering them on as well.

The Whitaker brothers won 99-70 and went on to the semi-finals, losing to Highlands 140-93. It was during that game that I first noticed Parker Thomas. As my husband put it, his celebrations at each frame he bowled “electrified the crowd.”

Highlands, and the ever enthusiastic Thomas, moved on to face No. 1 seed Southern in the final.

Coach happy to be involved

When Highlands girls and boys bowling coach Glenn Schmidt first learned of the unified division, he was less than enthusiastic.

I caught up with the coach, who owns La Ru Lanes in Highland Heights, during a break between the unified and singles championships. He told me that the prospect of coaching in another division left him unsure and wondering “How am I going to do it?”

But that all changed at the tournament.

“This is what bowling is all about,” he said. “It means the world to these kids.”

While Schmidt has had bowlers with special needs on his team for years, he appreciates the recognition and opportunity for inclusion they get in the unified tournament.

“I can’t say enough good about it,” he said. “I was completely wrong about it in the beginning, and I’m so happy I got involved.”

Schmidt said he had already talked with other coaches who didn’t participate this year but plan to next year. The word is going to spread about the success and support of this tournament, he said.

“I think it’s going to get bigger and bigger with leaps and bounds.”

All-around victory

The morning came to a crescendo as Highlands took on Southern in the finals. Fans that had been spread out among the lanes all morning gathered in to focus on the four bowlers. Joining Thomas and Shelton from Highlands were Dallas Derringer and Nathan Burnett from Southern.

The back-and-forth was intense as both teams displayed the skill and focus that earned them a spot in the finals. In the end, Southern prevailed, 191-169. The teams had spurred each other on to their best scores of the day.

All of the tournament bowlers gathered for a group photo, and all who competed in the quarter finals and above got their name called to receive an award, amid snapping cameras, from KHSAA Commissioner Julian Tackett.

Still, just to be here was a victory. Not only for the athletes, but the families, the coaches, the tournament organizers, the friends who came to watch. Who knew that knocking bowling pins down could raise so many people up?

The bowlers displayed “outstanding sportsmanship,” Bridenbaugh said, and set an example for a lot of athletes. She pointed out that at the end of the tournament, Thomas immediately went to Derringer, shook his hand and hugged him.

I didn’t catch those gestures. But I did hear Thomas after he had walked away from the lane toward those who had been cheering him on.

“Second place. That’s OK,” he said with the enthusiasm the crowd had come to expect and appreciate.

Yes, Parker Thomas. That’s OK. That is so much more than OK.

For complete results of the unified bowling tournament, click here.

KHSAA offers an online presentation for those interested in learning more about unified bowling, including information about how to get started at your school, here.

Top photo by Tim Webb/KHSAA

 

Night to Shine prom grows

Local church part of worldwide event

When guests with special needs dance the night away at Florence United Methodist Church on Feb. 10, they will be part of an international event.

Night to Shine is a prom program sponsored by the Tim Tebow Foundation to share God’s love for people with special needs. It’s designed to provide an unforgettable night of fun where guests are treated like kings and queens. And they get the crowns to prove it.

In all 50 states and in 11 countries, 375 churches are designating Feb. 10 as Night to Shine, according to the foundation’s website. Churches that want to host a prom apply to the foundation, which provides help and guidance, including manuals, prom kits and funds. The prom program started in 2015 with events at 44 churches. The number jumped to 201 last year.

That’s when Florence United Methodist Church got involved. Now it’s preparing to host its second prom, and if registration numbers are any indication, the night will shine brightly in Northern Kentucky.

Church member Kevin Meyer is organizing the event. We talked last week at the church, on Old Toll Road, during breaks at orientation and training for Night to Shine volunteers.

After crowning about 70 guests at its first prom last year, the church had planned this year for 85 guests, Meyer said. A recent spark in registrations, however, prompted organizers to regroup and refigure. They created more space for guests and accepted more registrations, bringing the total for the night to 105.

Still there’s a waiting list. While organizers want to welcome as many guests as possible, Meyer said, they must balance that with ensuring a comfortable space.

Last year’s event had a lasting impact on the church, Meyer said.  Seeing how God worked, how the volunteers focused on the guests, how much genuine love was shared –  these aspects made the prom “one of those life moments,” Meyer said, when you know “this is how you make a difference.”

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Guests fill the floor at last year’s Night to Shine prom at Florence United Methodist Church.

Royal treatment

The first stop on prom night will be check-in at Erpenbeck Elementary on Wetherington Boulevard in Florence. That’s where guests, who must be at least 14, will meet the volunteer buddies who will escort them for the night. Need hair and makeup done? That’s covered here. Guests can get their shoes shined too.

What about flowers? Guests can select boutonnieres and wrists corsages. And they can have their photos taken. Those photos, if all the technology runs smoothly, will be part of the gift bag they’ll receive at the end of the night.

Next a limousine will whisk them from the school to the church, less than a mile away. At the church, buddies will crown the guests, who will then walk the red carpet amid cheers from adoring fans and camera flashes from paparazzi.

Jeff Evans from Christian radio station STAR 93.3 has been tapped to announce each guest, and FOX 19 morning anchors Dan Wells and Kara Sewell are slated to greet each guest at the end of the red carpet, Meyer said.

Once inside, guests can enjoy heavy appetizers from Barleycorn’s, Gigi’s cupcakes, karaoke, music, dancing, a recorded message from celebrity athlete and foundation founder Tim Tebow and a balloon drop. A quiet room will be available for guests who may need a break from the activities.

For safety, all volunteers are required to have background checks and training about disabilities. Also, nurses, emergency medical technicians and law enforcement personnel will be at the church and school to help ensure everyone has a healthy and safe time, Meyer said.

Parents and caregivers who prefer to stay on site are welcome to visit a respite area offering food, games, movies, activities and a place to talk with one another.

While the Tim Tebow Foundation provides funding, Meyer said the church couldn’t host as big of an event without the help of area businesses, who are pitching in with donated and discounted goods and services. Add to that the 275 volunteers, and you’ve got a community coming together for the special night.

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Mike Dardis of WLWT was an emcee at last year’s Night to Shine. Prom organizer Kevin Meyer is pictured on the right.

Fun with friends

Kelsey Coleman is looking forward to the big night and has happy memories from last year’s prom, she told me over the phone earlier this week.

“It was fun when we got to ride in the limo with the escorts, and we got to walk on the red carpet,” she said. Her absolute favorite thing? “I had fun dancing with all my friends.”

Brigitte Coleman made sure her daughter got signed up as soon as they heard registration was open for this year’s prom. “She did not want to miss it,” she said.

Brigitte said she appreciates the February prom being held in addition to the Royal Prom, which occurs at Crossroads church in September. A prom around Valentine’s Day creates an opportunity for couples and friends to celebrate together, she said.

Even though she did not use the respite area, Brigitte said it was a welcome offering. And she said she enjoyed seeing Kelsey get to ride in a limo.

Events like the prom help people with special needs expand their social circles, Brigitte said. They meet each others’ friends, she said, and create relationships with volunteers so that they are included more in society.

“I would love to see other things come from this at other churches,” Brigitte said.

A need to help

Catherine Willis sat in one of the blue-cushioned, metal-framed chairs at Florence United Methodist Church last week waiting under the high peaked ceiling for orientation to begin. A first-time Night to Shine volunteer, Willis is a paraeducator at Ockerman Middle School. She sat with her daughter Emily Edwards, a teacher at New Haven Elementary in the autism unit, who had told her about the volunteer opportunity.

“We needed to help,” Willis said. “[Everyone] should have an opportunity to enjoy every aspect of life, and they shouldn’t be limited by any perceived disability that they have.”

People with special needs, she said, should be surrounded by people who want to bring out the best in them.

Volunteers at last year’s prom also benefited from the experience. “I think we learned a lot from the guests about how to enjoy life,” Meyer said.

He noted how grateful the church is for support from the community, local businesses and the Tim Tebow Foundation. “The response from the community to this event,” Meyer said, “is just an example of the type of community we are all blessed to be a part of.”

Photos provided.

A gift of family fun

An Old Kentucky Christmas to open early for families with special needs

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Crowded, fast-paced holiday celebrations can be daunting for a family that cares for a member with special needs. To help with that, a Northern Kentucky church is opening its popular community Christmas event an hour early just for families like ours.

From 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 10, First Church of Christ in Burlington invites special needs families to enjoy An Old Kentucky Christmas before the event opens to the general public. The early opening will allow families to decorate cookies, make candles and play games in the 1800s-era village amid smaller crowds and at a more relaxed pace.

“Our biggest hope is just to be able to give the special needs families the same opportunity to have those family traditions that so many who come into the village get to enjoy throughout the weekend,” said Alissa Lancaster, First Church’s ministry leader for An Old Kentucky Christmas.

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Decorate and enjoy a treat from Grandma’s Cookies.

For the whole family

This is the fifth year for the free event, created to evoke a simpler time and to bring families together. It has been so successful that last year more than 12,000 people attended over four days, Lancaster told me in a phone interview last week. For people with special needs, though, those kinds of crowds can be overwhelming.

So overwhelming, in fact, that some families have told organizers that they couldn’t bring children with sensory issues, autism and other challenges that may make navigating a crowd difficult. After conversations with families and the visit last year of a group of middle school students with autism, the church planned this year’s special hour.

‘They can really come and just enjoy it and not feel like they have to rush through or be concerned about the crowds.’

— Alissa Lancaster, ministry leader for An Old Kentucky Christmas

“We don’t want anybody to feel like they have to exclude a family member,” Lancaster said. “They can really come and just enjoy it and not feel like they have to rush through or be concerned about the crowds. … That should make it easier for everybody, the whole family, to come together and enjoy it.”

The church is offering the special hour this year with the hopes of expanding it next year. Organizers want to see what works and what more they could do to help special needs families share Christmas traditions and memories.

“We’re not sure where we’ll go with it from here,” Lancaster said, noting that possibilities included adding more time next year on Saturday morning or somewhere else in the event’s four-day schedule.

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Greeters in pioneer attire welcome guests.

Pioneer Village fun

Over the phone, Lancaster walked me through a typical visit to An Old Kentucky Christmas, which takes place outside and inside the church at 6080 Camp Ernst Road in Burlington. Transformed into the Pioneer Village, the church offers a multitude of activities and demonstrations. Everything is free.

As guests enter the village, Lancaster said, volunteers in pioneer attire greet them at the welcome center. Here visitors can get a map of the village, a note card to mark each stop they make and a goodie bag to hold items they receive during their visit.

The main outdoor stops include Wicks and Wax, where families can learn how to dip a candle to take home. Next guests might visit Sweet Tooth Candy, where they can make a chocolate- and sprinkle-coated pretzel rod.

At Woodworks, visitors can see a demonstration of 1800s work-working equipment and decorate their own wooden ornament. At the village Petting Zoo, the bunnies are especially popular, Lancaster said.

Outreach letters to spread cheer

At the School House, guests can write and draw on an older style chalk board. Then, with charcoal pencils, they can sign letters of support and holiday cheer for people in the community including patients at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center and local police officers, firefighters and nursing home residents.

Guests can mail their letters at a post office housed at the General Store. The store also will serve hot chocolate, which guests can drink to wash down the sugar cookies they make at Grandma’s Cookies.

At the Village Church, guests hear the story of the candy cane and make a candy cane ornament. Horse-drawn carriage rides around the village are also popular, Lancaster said.

Inside activities include dulcimer musicians playing Christmas music, quilting demonstrations and pioneer games such as checkers, marbles, tops and ring toss.

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Dulcimer musicians play Christmas music.

Family photos for everyone

One of the favorite indoor attractions, Lancaster said, is the family photo station. There a photographer takes a family photo against a pioneer backdrop. Each family gets a print of the photo at the event and an emailed copy later.

“It’s so special for everybody to be able to walk away with that Christmas photo of their family,” Lancaster said.

Christmas should be a time to experience fun with family, Lancaster said, but so many families don’t have the ability to attend costly holiday events. That’s where An Old Kentucky Christmas comes in, she said. “The biggest reason we do this is to provide a gift to the community.”

It seems fitting. Here’s an event created to celebrate the simple joys of the Christmas season. Now its organizers are taking time to offer an even simpler experience to families caring for members with special needs. No strings or ribbons or wrapping attached. Only wishes for a joyful experience for the whole family.

 If you go

What: An hour at An Old Kentucky Christmas for special needs families only

When: Saturday, Dec. 10, 2016, from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m.

Where: First Church of Christ, 6080 Camp Ernst Road in Burlington, KY

 

An Old Kentucky Christmas Schedule

Thursday, Dec. 8 – Village hours from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.; performance by the Ryle High School choir at 7 p.m.

Friday, Dec. 9 – Village hours from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.; candlelight service of music and inspiration at 7 p.m.

Saturday, Dec. 10 – Village hours from 2 p.m. to 8 p.m.; candlelight service of music and inspiration at 5 p.m. and 7 p.m.

Sunday, Dec. 11 – Village hours from 2 p.m. to 8 p.m.;  candlelight service of music and inspiration at 5 p.m. and 7 p.m.

For more information, call (859) 586-4673 or visit www.anoldkentuckychristmas.com.

Top photo: A girl dips a candle at Wicks and Wax.

Photos provided.

Share and inspire

How do you share the joy and meaning of the holidays with your family? I’m collecting ideas for a future article. Please send me a quick email at angie.mimms@gmail.com. Or you can write me through the Contact section of the blog. Here’s a post I wrote to explain more about what I’m doing. Happy holidays!

Share and inspire

During the holidays, where do you find fun, meaning?

In my neighborhood during these early days of December, the nighttime streets are getting brighter and brighter as my neighbors, one-by-one, string Christmas lights along their homes and in their yards.

I enjoy this gradual awakening to the holiday season. The neighbors who choose to decorate do so in their own way, in their own time, and I get to be surprised as I drive along at night to see what new lights and displays went up before the sun went down.

Most years we – and by “we” I mean my husband – get our lights up, but some years we don’t. Some years the weather doesn’t cooperate or family circumstances keep us too busy or work obligations limit our time. Still we can drive along our street and find holiday inspiration in our neighbors’ lights.

In the midst of this season, I hope we can bring each other inspiration right here at Special Needs Northern Kentucky.

Joys and challenges

Like putting up light displays, celebrating the holidays is full of joys as well as challenges. That’s certainly true for families who have members with special needs.

As we plan our holidays, we consider the health, behavior and abilities of our loved ones. We try to find balance, elusive and mysterious as it may be. We strive to create a glow and warmth to our holidays for everyone in our families.

While we all have our unique situations, I thought we might help each other by sharing what we’ve learned along the twinkle-lighted holiday road.

How do you celebrate the holidays?

I’m wondering about the ways you celebrate the holidays in Northern Kentucky with your loved ones with special needs. Where do you find fun? Where do you find meaning?

Where do you go, what do you do, what events do you attend that bring you the joy of the season?

What’s out there that serves well families dealing with special needs? Have you ever been unsure initially about a place or event only to be surprised by how good your experience was?

Do you celebrate at home in ways that you’ve found to bring particular delight and meaning?

Share your thoughts

I hope you will share your thoughts and comments, ideas and suggestions. Please send them to angie.mimms@gmail.com by Wednesday, Dec. 7. I’ll compile your responses into a post that I hope will be full of holiday inspiration.

I look forward to reading and sharing your responses along with getting some fresh ideas for celebrating the holiday season with my own family. In the meantime, my wish for you is that you enjoy the beautiful lights along the road.

Grace and gratitude

Father reflects on kindness of peers, community

During November, readers were invited to share stories of thanks from along the road. Here is the final guest post for the month. Thanks to everyone who contributed. Thank you for sharing your words, your hearts and your children.

by Greg Ashcraft

I thank God every day that my daughter Grace came into my life.

During this month of Thanksgiving, I reflect on the positive impact her peers and community have had on Grace, who is 12 and has Down syndrome.

Grace’s peers at school accept her not because of her disability but because of her personality. Every day she goes to school, and every day she comes home happy.

This year at Gray Middle School, some of Grace’s classmates won a limo ride for the day. Before they took the ride, I received a call asking if Grace could go. I knew she did not win the contest and asked why she was invited. One of Grace’s peers, I was told, wanted to give their spot to Grace so she could experience the limo ride.

 I was so thankful. The limo ride meant a lot to Grace. She was so excited and loved sitting in the car and driving around with her friends. They went to lunch at Flipdaddy’s. I will forever be grateful to the child who showed such kindness.

The biggest worry I have as a father is whether my children will have friends. I am thankful that Grace has many friends. I am most thankful for her best friend, Jayden Wren, because he means so much to her and would do anything for her.

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Grace and Jayden getting ready to trick-or-treat on the golf cart.

Jayden and Grace became friends in second grade. Jayden, who has always been Grace’s peer helper, makes her smile every day and takes the worry away. They go to school dances together, ride a golf cart together and pull crazy pranks on Grace’s brother and sister.

They have a great time, and Jayden is always there when Grace needs him. I am thankful he came into her life.

As Grace’s father, I’ve learned that you can’t worry about what other people think, that you have to let your special needs child be a kid. I will end with a line I heard on a TV show. The father of a special needs child was asked why he didn’t care what people think. His reply: Because when you have a special needs child, you become bullet proof.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Greg Ashcraft trains and coaches youth athletes in Northern Kentucky. He is a husband and a father of three.

Photos provided.

 

 

Why am I thankful?

Son’s stroke changes mother’s outlook

Readers share their stories of thanks from along the road. I’ll be posting them through this Thanksgiving month. Even though the original deadline has passed, I would love to read more. So if you’re inspired, please consider writing and submitting. Check here for guidelines.

by Jennifer Putnam

It’s funny how what you are thankful for can change from day to day. Six years ago, my son Aiden had a massive stroke and that changed a lot about the way I look at the world.

I used to be so concerned about what Aiden was doing compared to everyone else. I was thankful on the days when he made his way up to the top of the pack with whatever task he was attempting.  And then, in the blink of an eye, my focus completely changed. Now my biggest worry is if he will have a happy and independent life, and I am thankful for every small achievement he makes.

I am thankful for the family and friends we have made along my son’s journey as well as the friends who have stuck with us through all the highs and lows. I will be the first to say that it isn’t always easy to be my friend. I have days where I miss our old life and I can be grumpy and no fun to be around. I also need a lot of help because I can never seem to get our hectic schedule right and I am constantly double-booking appointments. I am lucky that my family has found trusted friends willing to pitch in and be a part of our village.  They pick me up when I am down and are always willing to shuttle my family from place to place.

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Aiden and his mom, Jennifer.

As a parent of a special needs child, I think the things that I am truly thankful for may be different from those of many “average” families. I have been known to do a happy dance in the middle of my driveway upon opening a letter from my insurance company letting me know that some previously denied service will now be covered. I am thankful for hospital schedulers who listen to all my crazy questions and spend hours with me on the phone making sure that all my son’s appointments are properly scheduled. And if I can squeeze multiple visits into one trip across the river, I may just cry tears of joy.

I know I am blessed because even after all he has been through, my Aiden walks through life with a smile on his face and love in his heart.

I am thankful for the nights when Aiden puts on his nightly stretching brace without compliant even though I know the brace, which keeps his right hand from becoming a permanently closed fist, hurts him and makes it hard for him to sleep. I know I am blessed because even after all he has been through, my Aiden walks through life with a smile on his face and love in his heart.

Now six years after Aiden’s stroke, I have learned to appreciate all the little things that never crossed my mind to be grateful for before.  My family celebrated with ice cream on the night Aiden brought home his standardized test scores and was one level up from the bottom because we were all so thankful that he was not on the bottom level.  The day he rode a bike again turned into an all-night party, and the video of him catching and throwing a baseball made him an internet sensation. At least within our family.

But most of all, I am thankful for the “normal” days. The days without doctor’s appointments and therapies. I love the days when my family wakes up and has breakfast together and stays in jammies until noon.  Or the nights when we snuggle by the fireplace and watch a movie together and everyone gets along.

I spend an unrealistic part of my life worrying about the future. Will my son go to college?  Will he drive a car, get married or have children?  Most of all, will he be happy?  So much of the time I can’t seem to turn off my brain from these things, but the normal days keep me in the moment and keep my brain out of the unknown future.  Some people don’t even think about normal days, but for me, they are something that makes me truly thankful.

 Jennifer Putnam is a small business owner, substitute teacher, wife and mother of three. She enjoys writing in her free time.

Photos provided.

 

 

Giving it another try

Salon visit becomes a moment of kindness, thanks

Readers share stories of thanks from along the road. I’ll be posting them through this Thanksgiving month. Even though the original deadline is passed, I would love to read more. So if you’re inspired, please consider writing and submitting. Check here for the guidelines.

by Elizabeth Huss

My story of thanks takes place inside a hair salon in the Shoppes at Burlington. My 8-year-old son, who’s on the autism spectrum, needed a haircut. I know that it’s best to get a kid’s hair cut every six weeks, but let’s just say I usually stretch those six weeks out as far as they can go. This story may help explain why.

We were the first customers at the hair salon on that cloudy Sunday morning. A young woman of about 18 with long blonde hair and a pleasant smile walked up to greet us. I said a quick hello while running interference between my son and the little bowl of lollipops on the front desk. She smiled and directed us to her work area in the otherwise empty salon.

“Okay, hop up into the chair,” she said to my son.

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Elizabeth’s son

My son climbed into the chair. I wondered if he was finally getting used to this process. The woman took out a black cape and draped it around my son. Three seconds later, the cape was on the floor.

“He’s not too crazy about wearing a cape,” I said, laughing halfheartedly.

“Well,” she said, looking at the mop on my son’s head, “there’ll be a lot of loose hair.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ll clean him up after we get home.”

I immediately pictured the inch-thick coating of his brown hair on the sleeves of my sweater. It wouldn’t be the first time my sweater had been through this.

The woman started to spray my son’s hair with a water bottle. He swiveled his head to dodge the mist. Next she took a comb and scissors from her apron and began separating lengths of his hair. Suddenly he grabbed her wrists. Gently, she tried to free herself from his grip without hurting him with the scissors.

“I’m sorry,” I said, tears starting to burn behind my eyes. “I can hold his arms.”

I put him in a firm bear hug while trying to give her adequate space to work. It was a ridiculous pose, and I hoped no other customers would walk into the shop. As she worked the scissors, I met my son’s eye and frowned at him as he squirmed. I couldn’t imagine how she could get a straight cut while he rehearsed his own version of the Twist.

“Good job, bud,” the woman said a few minutes later as she put the scissors down.

I looked up at her with a confused expression. Were we in the same hair salon?

She lifted an electric trimmer out of its stand and clicked it on. I closed my eyes. My son struggled at the sound of the trimmers as they approached his sideburns. My bear hug loosened as he slid toward the floor. The woman clicked off the trimmers, watching my son.

It’s surprising how tired a person can be after a simple five-minute haircut. But I was more than that. I was embarrassed about my son’s behavior and wondered why in the world he couldn’t just sit and enjoy the attention to his hair.

“I think we can let it go at that,” I said, somehow getting my son back into the chair. “It looks better.”

She and I looked down at his long sideburns and bangs that hadn’t been touched. I waited to hear her sigh of relief and swift agreement.

Instead she said, “Why don’t we give it another try?”

I stared at her. I’d given her a way out of this stressful, certainly frustrating, situation. We would’ve paid and been out of her life. But she wanted to give it another try.

She let my son examine the trimmers, putting his fingers on them to show him they weren’t sharp. When his haircut was complete, I paid and thanked her. And my son finally got his lollipop.

Outside in my car, I sat behind the wheel and felt thankful. Thankful that this pretty young woman, who came in on a Sunday to cut hair all day, was willing to try again when it came to my son.

Elizabeth Huss is a stay-at-home mom and freelance writer from Florence.